From A Little Book Called "Disorder In The Court.' They're Things People Actually Said

In Court, Word For Word.,

 

Q: What Is Your Date Of Birth?

A: July Fifteenth.

Q: What Year?

A: Every Year.

 

Q: What Gear Were You In At The Moment Of The Impact?

A: Gucci Sweats And Reeboks.

 

Q: This Myasthenia Gravis-Does It Affect Your Memory At All?

A Yes

A And In What Ways Does It Affect Your Memory?

A: I Forgot.

Q. You Forget. Can You Give Us An Example Of Something That You've Forgotten?

 

Q: How Old Is Your Son - The One Living With You.

A: Thirty-Eight Or Thirty-Five, I Can't Remember Which.

Q: How Long Has He Lived With You?

A: Forty-Five Years.

 

Q: And Where Was The Location Of The Accident? 

A: Approximately Milepost 499.

Q: And Where Is Milepost 499?

A: Probably Between Milepost 498 And 500.

 

O Do You Know If Yourdaughter Has Ever Been Involved In The Voodoo Or

  Occult?

A We Both Do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We Do

Q: You Do?

A: Yes, Voodoo

 

Q: Trooper, When You Stopped The Defendant, Were Your Red And Blue Lights

   Flashing?

A: Yes.

Q: Did The Defendant Say Anything When She Got Out Of Her Car?

A: Yes, Sir.

Q: What Did She Say?

A: What Disco Am I At?

 

Q: Were You Present When Your Picture Was Taken?

 

Q: Did He Kill You?

 

Q: How Far Apart Were The Vehicles At The Time Of The Collision?

 

 

Q: You were there urtil the time you left, is that true?

 

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

 

 

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

 

Q You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

 

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

 

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which

sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 

O All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A Oral

 

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:3Q p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

 

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you cheek for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No

Q: So, then it is possibie that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A. No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

 

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?

A: No, 'was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

 

LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show?

WITNESS: There were traces of semen.

LAWYER: Male semen?

WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of

 

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?

WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?

WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?

WITNESS: No.

 

LAWYER- So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what did you observe

with respect to your scalp?

WITNESS: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.

LAWYER: It was covered?

WITNESS: Yes. Bandaged.

LAWYER: Then, later on, what did you see?

WITNESS: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put

on top of my head.

 

CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God...

WITNESS: 'I swear by Almighty God."

CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."

WITNESS: That's right.

CLERK: Repeat it.

WITNESS: "Repeat it".

CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.

WITNESS: What you said when?

CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..

WITNESS "That the evidence that I give."

CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth

CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.

CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."

CLERK: Say: Nothing...".

WITNESS: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)

CLERK. No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Well? Do so.

WITNESS You're confusing me.

CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth

CLERK: Yes.

WITNESS: Okay. I understand.

CLERK: Then say it.

WITNESS: What?

CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."

WITNESS: But I do! thats just it.

CLERK: You must say: Nothing but the truth."

WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!

CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: 'Nothing? But", 'The, "Truth".

WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?

CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. just say those four words.

WITNESS: Nothing. But. The. Truth."

CLERK: Thank you.

WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.

 

 

LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the

         footpath to the cowshed?

WITNESS. I did.

LAWYER: and as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?

WITNESS: I did.

LAWYER: And did you observe anything?

WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)

LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?

WITNESS: I saw George.

LAWYER: You saw George the defendant in this case?

WITNESS: Yes.

LAWYER: Can you tell the court what George was doing?

WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)

LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?

WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.

LAWYER: His "thing"?

WITNESS: You know... His thing. his di... I mean, his penis.

LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober,

you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?

WITNESS: Yes.

LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?

WITNESS: Of course I did!

LAWYER: What did you say to him?

WITNESS: "Morning, George