Christmas Party

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding

headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of

the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way

downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise,"

he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete

ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of

directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his

face."

"He's an idiot," John said. "Piss on him." "You did", came the reply.

"And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."